Report: Logan's Mom Put Him On A Diet - The Onion (satire)

TERRE HAUTE, IN—Noting the dramatic change in snacks and beverages made available at the Pisinski household, sleepover sources confirmed Friday that Logan’s mom had put him on a diet. “He’s not allowed to have any soda or candy, plus his mom put all the bags of chips way up high in the pantry so he can’t reach them,” said Jesse Weir, adding that while he and the other guests ate pepperoni pizza, Logan was served a green salad with a fat-free dressing and was offered the choice between a rice cake topped with cottage cheese or an apple for dessert. “He’s got a whole section in the refrigerator labeled ‘Logan’s Snacks’ and there’s nothing good in there, just carrots and celery sticks. When Mrs. Pisinski caught Logan eating some M&Ms that Kevin brought, she made him spit them out in the trash, so it’s a pretty big deal.” Weir added that he probably wouldn’t be going back over to Logan’s house for a while after Mrs. Pisinski told them they couldn’t play video games and should instead all go outside to get some exercise.



Source: https://local.theonion.com/report-logan-s-mom-put-him-on-a-diet-1830026964
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